Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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