1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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