Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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