hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize