Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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