SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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