oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize