you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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