Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize