In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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