did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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