Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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