Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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