remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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