we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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