Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have fence marks all over my body
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize