are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize