No subtext here. People are naked.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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