can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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