none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You're like the curious george of whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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