He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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