I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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