Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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