I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize