You smell like stripper and shame
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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