everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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