You can't motorboat a personality
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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