Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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