last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
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I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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