he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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