So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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