And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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