i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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