I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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