id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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