i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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