My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize