Small penises have feelings too.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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