We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
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Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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