Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Your penis caused this!
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