put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think your dad took our porno
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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