There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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