we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize