covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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