Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had to cum in my sink.
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