dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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