Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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