Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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