Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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