Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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